This isn’t another article about how Ryerson teams are, for the most part
pretty bad.

I’m not going to make a statement like that, because the truth is it may not always be that way. Look around. The campus, like Toronto, is rife with expansion and a growing university in a growing city will have access to a growing pool of talent.

And even without that, the law of averages ensures eventually even the most ludicrous outcome will occur, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself as I waste $20 a week betting on football. But I digress. In my year at Ryerson I have observed a student body capable of consuming almost any fad, scene or trend, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Honestly, I love the fuzzy pom-poms dangling from your boots, ladies.

But let’s daydream for a second. What if in say, 20 years from now, “indie rock” isn’t so popular anymore. Instead, some monstrosity of a basketball player who grew up in St. Jamestown and is the best athlete to come from Toronto since Jamaal Magloire decides to attend Ryerson because he wants to be close to his mother?

Suddenly there’s a buzz.  Suddenly people who never cared before can’t help but be interested. Suddenly it’s, gulp, cool to be a Ryerson fan.

Now the guys with the fauxhawks are arguing over who gets to wear the Ryerson throwback jerseys, and the girls who used to like to flip athletes the finger are compelled to wave big foam ones. And now the depth of one’s fandom becomes social currency.

But there’s just one problem. Most of these people, like the generations before them, once took every possible opportunity to bash Ryerson athletic programs, and the rest simply never thought of them at all.

Of course there was a time when people thought Ali G was a silly British novelty act, now everone and their pet is lining up to see the Borat movie.

And that’s why I’m not writing another article about how bad Ryerson’s teams are. Simply put, on the astronomically small chance that someday the most popular thing at this university is to support the Rams, I will be the coolest person who ever walked the campus. What can I say? I like to keep my options open.

Because hey, if porcupine hair and fuzzy car dice swinging from winter footwear can captivate the Ryerson masses, anything is possible. And after all, isn’t that why the Rams keep playing year after year, even though most Ryerson teams are terrible?

Damn, I just did it, didn’t I?