I have the absolute worst luck in finding decent housing. Over the last four years I have rented apartments infested with bedbugs, crazy boyfriends, and grubby roommates.

As an out-of-province journalism student, I have to find places that are fully furnished and have eight-month leases. Welcome to my nightmare.

First year: first time away from home

I grew up in Langley, B.C., on a 10-acre nursery, and since I was travelling more than 3,000 kilometers to study at Ryerson, student housing gave me priority in room selection. I was blessed with a single room at the International Living Learning Centre (ILLC). My room included a double bed, TV and private bathroom.

The only thing I can say about residence is that it’s noisy at times and the food is abominable. I became addicted to bagels and chocolate pudding, and gained roughly 20 pounds.

Second try

Residence was very expensive, so in second year I moved to Neil-Wycik, a student co-op residence located on Gerrard Street East. Rent was reasonable, and the units were built dorm-style and fully furnished.

However, you get what you pay for.

I had five roommates and our kitchen plumbing appeared to have been leaking, unnoticed, for the last year.

After a month, maintenance finally fixed the leak, but it took another four months before they replaced our rotting countertop and cupboards. (Maybe they were waiting until the manufacturer had its year-end sale.)

As dirty and noisy as Wycik was, the people were amazing. I have met some of my best friends there and would not trade the experience for the world.

My favourite random roommate episode was when the inebriated Russian business student came home and attempted to prove that he was not drunk by juggling my steak knives. He was surprisingly good.

Third time’s the “charm”

Finally fed up with filthy bathrooms and piles of dirty dishes, I decided it was time to abandon the residence scene. I scoured Craigslist, looking for someone who was renting a room in their apartment or house.

After meeting with several home owners to see what was available, I finally decided to rent an adorable Asian-inspired room from a professional hairdresser who lived in a duplex near Forest Hill. Rent was reasonable, it was a 45-minute commute to school, and I had full access to the TV, phone and cooking utensils.

At first things went well, but then my luck fizzled out. I visited my grandparents in Orillia for Thanksgiving, and when I returned, I was shocked to discover that my landlady’s off-and-on boyfriend had moved in.

He was a destitute American writer who had children my own age, while she looked significantly younger.

He would sit on the couch all day, watching TV movies as he perused Wikipedia.

He had no money to contribute to rent or food, and my landlady didn’t have much to spare; they fought constantly, and she would often complain to me about him.

Whenever I walked into the living room, he would struggle to zip up his pants. I guess it was more comfortable to watch TV that way?

My landlady was exhausted because she was working 14-hour days and her mood swings became progressively worse.

In the end, I tried to minimize the time I spent there. I was appalled by their lack of respect and consideration; I should have been told that a new person was moving in.

Fourth and final time around

During the summer, a classmate and I decided to rent an apartment together.

We were both away from the city, so we scoured the internet and eventually put a deposit down on a two-bedroom apartment we had never seen.

We moved in in September, loaded down with cast-off furniture from relatives and thrift store finds. To our joy, the apartment was clean and comfortable.

One month after we had moved in, my roommate woke up one day covered in itchy red bites. This occurred at regular intervals for two weeks; she tore up her room looking for the culprits and spent hours researching online.

She got up one night at 2 a.m., armed with a flashlight to search her mattress for signs of the insects.

“Ha, I found one,” she screamed, waking me from a sound sleep. “I was right, we have bedbugs.”

Bedbugs are a growing epidemic in Toronto. These small brown vermin live in baseboards, mattresses and clothing, coming out at night to feed on human blood.

We called the housing company and arranged to have an exterminator come and fumigate our apartment. It wasn’t successful the first time and we had to be fumigated again six weeks later.

The second time around we left nothing to chance; we threw out furniture, vacuumed every nook and cranny to remove the eggs and washed our clothes in scalding water.

It cost me more than $200 to have my clothes washed and dry-cleaned, but by golly, we finally got the buggers.

Things have finally settled down, and I’m looking forward to the summer and relaxing dinners on our balcony.

. . . I wish you the best of luck in your search for “home.”

Helpful hints

1. Do: Rent a mini-fridge to keep vegetables and fruit in your room.

Invest in stackable closet organizers, a vertical shoe rack, and removable hooks to hang coats and towels on.

Don’t: Be lazy – keep your room clean and tidy. Because the rooms are so small, a messy room feels claustrophobic and kills your productivity.

2. Do: Stand up for yourself. If something is wrong with your plumbing or appliances, fill out a maintenance request form and follow up with the superintendent. Your rent helps pay for the building’s upkeep, and you have a right to expect repairs to be completed in a timely manner.

Don’t: Rely on one person to do all the work. Everyone should take turns buying supplies and scrubbing the apartment.

3. Do: If you’re planning on moving in with a new roommate, meet with them for coffee or lunch. Discuss daily schedules, cleaning routines and bills.

Tour the apartment or house, paying special attention to the details. Is everything covered in dust? Is the exterior of the house cared for?

Don’t: Move in if the house or apartment is a dump. The individual is probably not reliable or is a slob.

4. Do: The moment you see any sign of an infestation, alert your rental company. They are legally obligated to pay for any treatments required to remove the pests.
Don’t: Don’t expect the exterminator to fix the problem completely. Additional steps are required on your part to ensure the treatment is effective, and to discourage the pests from returning.